The Thorn In My Side

Sadness slowly envelopes my soul
Tearing at my heart ~ ripping me apart
Closing in around me till I can't breathe
The more I give to you, the more you wish to leave.

You don't know the life I've had or all the tears I've cried
Every day the gripping thoughts of contemplating suicide
This life is just a waste of time ~ the more you give of yourself
The more people fuck you up inside.

Sensitive souls always get fucked over more
Opening our hearts for someone to love
People tell you what you want to hear
Then quickly shove you out the door.

You'll never know the pain you've caused me
You'll never feel it ripping at your soul
Each time I cry, I get stronger inside
Though the pain remains and I try to hide

I can't escape the knowledge that next time
I'll lose a little more faith in love
And not have as much to give someone new
Who may deserve it more than you

As time passes each day
I'll think of the pain that's passed my way
As I grow colder and colder inside
I want to say "Fuck you" to all that have crushed my pride
And thank you for the woman that I've become
Afraid to give of myself ~ I hide
As I contemplate that everlasting thorn in my side.

© 1999 Debra Ann Flores

©2010 Debra Ann Beach/CaligrrlPoems

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